Friday, November 11, 2011

Unsuccessful People

From the book “How To Become a Total Failure: 

The Ten Rules of Highly Unsuccessful People,” 
by Bill Guillory and Phil Davis.

1. Resist learning anything new.  (The more you know, the more people will expect.)
2. Don’t share what you know with others.  (Knowledge is power. Don’t give away your power.)
3. Be a jerk.  (Jerks get what they want and decent behavior isn't expected.)
4. Always look out for number one.  (It's a zero-sum game.)
5. It’s all about the money.  (Money equals success!)
6. Promise things you have no intention of doing.   (The more you promise, the more responsible you look.)
7. It’s always someone else’s fault.  (Your success is dependent on your ability to CYA.)
8. Truth is in the eye of the beholder.  (The truth that benefits you most.)
9. Do the least that’s necessary for success.  (Be all that you can be with as little effort as possible.)
10. The customer is someone you must tolerate.  (Customers are never satisfied no matter what you do.)

I ran across this book after many years and three careers.  It explains so much about why some well-placed individuals, even some agencies were so difficult to engage.  Not that I didn't make my share of mistakes along the way, of course; just noting the rice-bowling, backside-covering, minimal-performing players along the way.  It explains a lot, doesn't it.
Let's add an eleventh ...
11. Divert decisions to consensus meetings, data gathering, and follow-on meetings.  (That way, if anything goes wrong, there are others that can be blamed.)