Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Kayla Jean

"If you could say I have 'suffered' at all throughout this
whole experience it is only in knowing how much
suffering I have put you all through," she wrote.
What an awesome heart, especially in one so young.
Kayla Jean Mueller Murdered by Isis
An extraordinary young lady who walked the most difficult and noble of pathways

For those of us who hope to serve well and make a difference, she showed us all what the 'real thing' looks like. Beyond just feeling concern for others, beyond just giving $20 now and then, exiting the comfort of an easy life, she went where there was need, and there poured out her life.

From her letter home, received by her family in early 2014  ...
Kayla wrote home last Spring after months in captivity.
Just 26 years old, she had devoted her life to helping
those in need worldwide.
She was kidnapped in Syria in August, 2013,
and held for ransom, but was apparently
murdered when negotiations failed.
"If you could say I have 'suffered' at all throughout this whole experience it is only in knowing how much suffering I have put you all through; I will never ask you to forgive me as I do not deserve forgiveness.
I remember mom always telling me that all in all in the end the only one you really have is God. I have come to a place in experience where, in every sense of the word, I have surrendered myself to our creator b/c literally there was no else … + by God + by your prayers I have felt tenderly cradled in freefall.
I have been shown in darkness, light + have learned that even in prison, one can be free. I am grateful. I have come to see that there is good in every situation, sometimes we just have to look for it.
I pray each each day that if nothing else, you have felt a certain closeness + surrender to God as well + have formed a bond of love + support amongst one another … I miss you all as if it has been a decade of forced separation.
I have had many a long hour to think, to think of all the things I will do w/ Lex, our first family camping trip, the first meeting @ the airport. I have had many hours to think how only in your absence have I finally @ 25 years old come to realize your place in my life.
The gift that is each one of you + the person I could + could not be if you were not a part of my life, my family, my support.
None of us could have known it would be this long but know I am also fighting from my side in the ways I am able + I have a lot of fight left inside of me.
I am not breaking down + I will not give in no matter how long it takes. I wrote a song some months ago that says, “The part of me that pains the most also gets me out of bed, w/out your hope there would be nothing left …”
aka-The thought of your pain is the source of my own, simultaneously the hope of our reunion is the source of my strength.
Please be patient, give your pain to God. I know you would want me to remain strong. That is exactly what I am doing. Do not fear for me, continue to pray as will I + by God’s will we will be together soon.
All my everything, Kayla"

She stands so beautifully apart from those who took her life, a woman of character and grace.  The dignity she offers in comparison to her captors leaves them in the mire of unjustifiable inhumanity.