The Downhill Stumble ...

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

Our brain is physically changed by what we see.  Neurological and social effects of sexually explicit media are now widely reported. While adult use can provoke problematic changes in brain function and relationships, pre-adults exposed to pornography risk limiting their development of cognitive analysis and ability to override impulsive behavior.

Victoria's Secret television advertisements

The pornography industry, however, is just one exploitation of 'synthetic sexuality'.  Others include movies, erotic literature, advertising, and more.

Culture and law say that porn is harmless free speech.

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition has the same allure and  effect as Playboy magazine.  Romantic portrayals with implied sexual intimacy trigger similar response, and it's all available instantly.  And the advertising industry -- magazines, television, and web media are increasingly using sexual imagery for marketing and storylines aimed at younger people.

The tipover point was a long way back up the line from online pornography.

What conversation is needed?

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Parental half-century review ...  Development and mentoring goals of earlier generations have perhaps faded out of our plan for raising children.  The typical child has hard-working parents, and much of developmental instruction is left to the school system.  We all thought that would work well.

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We were unprepared for the physical attraction that so surprised us in grade school.  It was thrilling, and we thought we were in love.  The overwhelming feeling we experienced the first time we held hands was magical and we were enthralled.  The first kiss was likely a heart-stopper, and the whole world revolved around our new found affection.  'Love' came and went and we were confused by it all.  We fell in love on a regular basis with whoever smiled at us.  Girls spent hours giving each other advice about 'love', I remember, but there was little conversation at home or at church on the subject that equipped us to follow principle rather than feeling, or to love unselfishly in any meaningful way.

Our out-of-church culture was rather unrestrained regarding physical aspects of relationship.  Some degree of physical intimacy was generally expected in the typical pairing while meaningful relationship was, at best, undefined.  Today's teens seem to have little preparation for dating beyond the generalized rules about things you don't do.  They're perhaps unlikely to have considered how their behavior will affect the one they believe they love so truly. 

In the absence of cultural constraints and peer support, many will cross the boundary into problematic behavior long before they're aware of it.  Many will skip learning about the person and go straight to gratification.   

It can be exactly the same downhill stumble for girls as for guys.

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• One young girl explains her turmoil, “At this age we’re always fighting with our parents, so we need to feel we’re loved.” She’s quick to add that while she and her boyfriend love each other, they’re not in love. “Whoa - we’re only 14!”
• Most of our youth are influenced in their early years by explicit material, popular music, and sensual advertising.   
• Physical intimacy is now likely in the elementary school years.  
• A NIH study of students in the sixth grade -- 35% reported having initiated sexual intercourse before or during the sixth-grade school year.
• Another NIH study found that 46% of fifth graders and 55% of eighth graders reported having initiated sexual intercourse, more common than other risk behaviors such as cigarette smoking and drinking. 
• Alcohol usually begins appearing during grades 6 and 7.  Far more common than other drugs, alcohol gets kids past their natural modesty and social restraint.
• The current average age for Americans to lose their virginity is 17.1 according to the CDC.  Nearly half will do so in high school.  
• Most say they believed intercourse was the prelude to marriage, but only about 2% of those relationships survived. 
• Nationwide, 12% of 9th-12th grade girls have been physically forced to have sexual intercourse when they did not want to.
• Most sexually experienced teens wish they had waited longer.

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Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done deliberately and in love.

With that practical advice, where do we take our stand, and how?  What's the first step? 🤔

Can a teen do that?  What does it look like to stand firm in this flood and not get swept along by the cultural decline?  Parents ... what's the best prep?

(If it isn't practical, it isn't helpful.)

see -- Covert War - decade seven

Material for students on dating from one of several universities 
... note this â is the secular, real-world conversation.

DATING TOPICS                                                                                 More Topics
Communicating with Your Partner                                       Putting Porn Away for Good
Having Fun and Staying Close                                              Biblical Dating: Principles for Drawing Boundaries 
Are You in a Healthy Relationship?
Coping with Problems and Challenges
Sex and Intimacy
Where Is This Going?
Dating for Teens and Youth
Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse