"You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, that means you are controlled by others. Breathe and allow things to pass."
The specific origin of this statement is unknown, but it has been circulated recently with Warren Buffett's name attached.
It's interesting that such a reasoned and rational encouragement would come from the anonymous cloud rather than from leaders. From the upper level of the power pyramid comes anger, unsubstantiable accusations, verbal insult and character assault from both sides of the aisle. Few in national leadership positions have suggested being reasonable. One who tried has been called a traitor.
How we frame what we say matters.
- Dr. Ford offered a credible testimony.
- Judge Kavanaugh offered a credible denial.
- There was no evidence confirming the alleged assault.
None of those statements are unreasonable. However, consider the following statements ...
- If it was true, she would have said something thirty years ago.
- If it was true, she'd remember where it happened.
- If it was true, she'd remember how she got home.
- If it was true, she wouldn't need all those lawyers ...
- If he was telling the truth, he's have answered the questions.
- If he was telling the truth, he'd have wanted an investigation.
- If he was telling the truth, he'd have taken a polygraph test.
- The allegations were a hoax.
- The FBI investigation was a sham.
- The woman senator who voted to confirm Kavanaugh is a traitor.
- The senators who voted to confirm Kavanaugh are in the war against women.
- This has sent a clear message that women are not taken seriously.
- Kavanaugh has been 'proven innocent'.
- And my favorite from the NRA, "Today, Heidi Heitkamp put partisan politics above the rights of law-abiding North Dakota gun owners. Right now, the U.S. Supreme Court is split 4-4 on the basic right to keep a firearm in the home for self-defense. Therefore, a vote against confirming Judge Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court is a vote against the fundamental right to self-defense.”
Each such statement reveals biased judgment and unreasoned decision perhaps based on preferential interpretation rather than fact. Each will trigger anger, will be perceived as an unreasonable attack, and will escalate the tension.
This is just one of many deliberately polarizing issues among us which, as a nation, we don't seem to be handling well. So how do we personally respond in order to maintain a clear mind and good conscience? And how do we instruct our children?
It can all be done quite well.
You might appreciate The Adult Mind and perhaps Adult Thinking.