F's and G's

Bear Grylls tells of his father's advice to him as a young man, "Follow the three F's and watch out for the three G's."

And those three F's are...

• Family,
• Faith, and 
• Follow your dreams.

And watch out for the three G's...

• Gold,
• Glory, and
• Girls.

Not that there's anything wrong with them, but ya gotta be careful when you're a young fellow.

Some of the things he eats are

rather strange.

Not bad advice for a young man looking to lay out his path ahead; not bad at all.

Bear and Barack in Alaska

He's an interesting fellow, rather clear thinking and focused in life.  His sister gave him the nickname 'bear' when he was a week old.  A serious minded Christian, he's involved in charities, writes books, does adventures and drags others along with him.

Music ... it's the sound!

It's the sound of music that makes it great, true?

No, not really.

It was a surprise for the musical snob world to find out that a rendition of Mozart is not judged on the auditory impact alone, even by professional, expert judges.  Despite centuries of thinking that perfection of execution was the sole criteria on which music is evaluated, we now know otherwise.

"Chia-Jung Tsay was something of a piano prodigy.  By age 12, she was performing Mendelssohn in concert. At 16, she made her debut at Carnegie Hall. Soon, she was on her way to some of the best music schools in the country — Juilliard and the Peabody Conservatory." ~NPR  She discovered along the way that her chances were improved if the judges could 'see' her perform rather than just hear her play.  Notice the key; her visual presentation in performance changed the results.

Dr. Chia-Jung Tsay, in addition to her musical career, is also a psychologist at University College, London.  She's helped clarify some things for us.

Consider.  Music lived on the radio for decades.  Live performances were rare, and a lucky person might see one or two a year.  The music world exploded with music videos, and MTV went quickly through the stratosphere and around the world.  Why?    

Powerfully presented ...

Presentation changes our valuation of content.  Mediocre anything in an impressive presentation get's a better reception in our brains.

Eye-catching ...

This particular nuance in our thinking process is a troublesome vulnerability.

From performers to marketers to politicians, they shape their presentation for the best reception.  Note the effort that is focused on presentation rather than on content quality or benefit, on persuasion rather than on objective understanding; it's not information, it's a sales pitch.  They hope to thrill us and emotionalize us into their camp, whether it's a political ideology or a product line.

Cuteness, however ridiculous ...

It's soap they're advertising, but who cares ...

Carry the concept into the media realm, and you realize it's not a friendly environment.  It's a competition for our attention, our money, and our endorsement come election day.  It's an intense and deliberate warfare without rules where the stakes are our future and the minds of our children.

Being an objective observer of truth and value is perhaps the most difficult mental task one will face in their lifetime.

In the Morning ...

In the morning, our brain springs into action and quickly fills with the stuff we expect to face in the day.  We rummage through all that must be done, figuring out details, trying to set some priorities and make our mental lists.  Why would anyone suggest that we begin the day in prayer when there's so much to be done?

Perhaps they've discovered something?

Perhaps a mind refreshed and reminded about things that truly matter, about values that can lift us up above the furor ... perhaps that's a better place to begin the day.  It will certainly affect the shape of things at the end.

Give ear to my words O Lord
Consider my meditation

An old fortress on a misty morning in western Africa.  A great place to sit and think a bit before
running off to work and school.  Remembering what's important as opposed to just urgent,
well it's not easy, but it is the difference between productive and just busy.

Harken unto the voice of my cry
My King and my God
For unto Thee will I pray
My voice shalt Thou hear
In the morning
O Lord in the morning
Will I direct my prayer
Unto Thee and will look up

The Science of Snobbery

- and how we learn to be stupid.

A $10 wine is obviously going to be less worthy than a $100 wine.  Of course.

An interesting series of experimental studies suggest that even the experts often can't tell the difference.  White wine with red food coloring elicited red wine compliments, the grand crus are described like cheap wines and vice-versa when the bottles are switched, and so on.

Despite protests from wine lovers, there's perhaps not as much science and objectivity involved as you'd like.

Rude salespeople actually increase the chance
that you'll buy that expensive item.

The Science of Snobbery: How We're Duped Into Thinking Fancy Things Are Better  ~ there's an interesting article on the subject in The Atlantic

Is a Mercedes actually better than a Chevrolet?  Well of course it is, it costs twice as much, and it's more cool to drive one.

From the science, it appears that preference is tied to inferred quality, presentation, and name reputation as much if not more than actual quality.

Thin Slicing.  The term thin-slicing refers to our making quick decisions with minimal information. It's how you decide many things, from what you'll buy to what you'll believe. At the gut level, it's based on previously acquired values, of which snobbery is one.


Thinking has always been described as a conscious effort, but thin-slicing is the unconscious behavior of gut response, and we all depend on it regularly. Perhaps 95% of the decisions we make are at this level.

The Drowning Child Dilemma

In what ways should we question our intuition?

Consider this dilemma posed four decades ago. You see

a child drowning.  You could save that child's life, but

if you do, you will ruin your fancy $1,000 suit. People

were asked if it is okay to let the child drown.  Most

say, of course not, that would be monstrous.

In another case, children on the other side of the world

 are desperately in need of food.  By donating money,

you can save their lives.  Do you have an obligation

to do that? Most people say that it’s nice if you do,

but it’s not terrible if you instead choose to spend

your money on luxuries for yourself.

Most philosophers have taken those intuitions at face value

and said, that’s right, there is a moral obligation when the

child is right in front of you, but not on the other side of

the world. "Is there really a moral difference?"

~Joshua Greene, discussing Princeton moral

 philosopher Peter Singer who conducted

the study. Singer asks the question.

Is there?  Of course not.

Thin slicing or instantaneous analysis; it's how we evaluate quickly, and the criteria (values) we use are acquired but not necessarily from logic and objectivity.  It's the things we've learned to actually care about.

The primary source of established gut values in the western mind is the media.  It used to be family and church and school, but things have changed.  Is that good or not?

The things we care about, those values we use so regularly in decision making, can be consciously chosen, but it's an uphill battle against the deluge of proffered norms in reality shows, advertising, and exaggerated drama in the social realm.  

Choosing to care is a surprisingly difficult task, particularly when you consider that caring usually requires doing something.  It's easier to just notice and move on; that's the common path, the easiest way out.  See, and choose against.  The choice is perhaps below the conscious level, but our personal values are visible in our actions, our lifestyle, our choices.

Know what your values are?  Short quiz:

• Do you admire the successful?  Why?
• Do you prefer the designer clothing lines? Do you know why?
• Would you pay $150 for a pair of running shoes?
• Do you aspire to a larger, nicer home like 'they' have?
• Is 'having' one of your primary life goals?
• Do celebrities appeal to you?  Do you know why?
• How often is 'helping others' on your agenda?

Look into the mind of a teen ... here.

Con·ception

... and Contra·ception

Family planning and birth control have been hotly debated in the public forum since long before our time.  Abortion is a particularly volatile part of the discussion.

"Life begins at conception."
"Life becomes human at 'quickening'." (the time of first movement in the womb)
"Life begins at birth."  No one has actually said that, but their practices suggest that's the marker.
"It's just a mass of cells."
"It's a fetus, not a baby."
And my recent favorite, "Planned Parenthood doesn't sell baby parts, you ****ing idiots."

We each have strong thoughts about the issues, particularly the parents among us, but some objectivity helps.

The first issue:  "I need to not get pregnant.  What do I do?"

The solution to that is simple and difficult at the same time.

     As a start, don't get pregnant (or impregnate) until you're ready.

• Don't have sex until it's appropriate.  There's much discussion on when that might be.
• Don't have unprotected sex.  More discussion and more reasons.
• If you're going to have sex but don't want to get pregnant (or impregnate anyone), use birth control.

The chart addresses contraception in early adolescence.  From

New Zealand, the descriptions includes comments about the

coverage in their healthcare program funding.

Sex education was thought to foster restraint and appropriate behavior leading to fewer unwanted pregnancies.  It hasn't, and studies differ over whether it may have increased sexual activity among minors along with the number of unintended pregnancies.

We shouldn't expect schools to solve this one for us on their own.

Community clinics for women were expected to reduce the number of unintended pregnancies, but with similar results.  Some clinics have evolved into something other than was hoped.  Clinic counselors for Planned Parenthood have been videotaped offering advice to minors on sex shops to visit and illegal ways to avoid parental notification.  Parental involvement has suffered.

In an interesting development in the international HIV/AIDS world, both treatment and prevention have been recently combined in programmatic planning.  It costs $1500 to treat a patient and $20 to prevent infection, it was discovered.  After years of being focused on the cure, prevention is finally on the planning table. Prevention is the larger part of a long term solution.

Similarly with unwanted pregnancy, treatment after the fact is costly and fraught with physical, ethical, and psychological risks.  Prevention is relatively easy and inexpensive to address.  Again, prevention is the larger part of a long term solution.


Parents!  Pretending our children are not going to face extraordinary pressure in their social environment is naive and irresponsible, and the media adds to the early sexualization of their otherwise innocent thinking.  Perhaps it's time to consider how we might prevent the trauma and longer term consequences from occurring in the first place.

If my kids had to travel afoot, alone across the savanna inhabited by dangerous carnivores, I'd at least ensure they were properly trained and equipped for the danger. How might we train and equip our youth for the equally dangerous environment of 21st century amorality?

What information do our kids have?

• In a study of youth ages 12 to 17 who had abstinence education, young people's definitions of abstinence included many sexual behaviors while consistently avoiding only (vaginal) intercourse. In a study of college freshmen and sophomores, 37 percent described oral sex and 24 percent described anal sex as abstinent behaviors.
• In a recent poll, 32 percent of U.S. teens did not believe condoms were effective in preventing HIV and 22 percent did not believe that birth control pills were effective in preventing pregnancy.
• In the same poll, 66 percent of teens said they would feel suspicious or worried about their partner's past, if the partner suggested using a condom; 49 percent would worry that the partner was suspicious of them; 20 percent would feel insulted.
• Sexual Risk Behaviors among high school students surveyed:   • 47% had ever had sexual intercourse.    • 6% had sexual intercourse for the first time before age 13.  • 15% had sexual intercourse with four or more persons.  • 34% had sexual intercourse with at least one person during the 3 months before the survey.  • 41% did not use a condom during last sexual intercourse.   • 14% did not use any method to prevent pregnancy during last sexual intercourse.     • 81% did not use birth control pills to prevent pregnancy during last sexual intercourse. 

References. Reference hhv.gov Reference cdc.gov

Few countries in the world address the sexual and reproductive health needs of their young people.  There is much controversy over the issue of adolescent sexuality and often a cultural disinclination (or inability) to address the issue directly.

Nonetheless, regardless of culture, age, or marital status, young people need complete information about their body functions, sex, and safer sex, plus sexual negotiation and refusal skills.  Without information and understanding, young people are forced to make ill-informed decisions that will potentially have profoundly negative effects on their lives.  What else do they need?

• Parents need to know: libido often rises before character and understanding are adequately informed to lead the way.  Early and thoughtful attention to character issues and decision making may help equip the child to deal with the powerful feelings that will come with the emotional and physiological equivalent of intoxication following puberty.  
• The character qualities of self-determination and moral decision making can be viewed as a contest of values between family and local society.  While family has the early advantage, the real contest begins with broadening socialization via the media and friends.
• More?  Is a narrowly religious approach effective.  Does 'just say no' address the concern adequately?  Is there a larger vision than 'don't get pregnant'?

Stay ahead of the issue.  Prevention is the larger part of a long term solution.

M&M's Commercial

Humorous, perhaps, but it's worth noting the boundaries our advertisers are pushing.  I'm annoyed and a little soiled by having seen this one, but I wonder what the message might be to a child in the developmental years.  I doubt it's anything I'd want my child to have to deal with early on.  The comment (inserted in the picture) says it rather well.

Much of the media, from reality shows to neuromarketing, is sexually bent, a disappointing byproduct of ... what? The passing of years? Or the decline of a culture.  It has happened before. Figured out your own path yet?


Other comments on the commercial:

Jonathan Vasgar 1 week ago

Not only is this not funny, it's blatantly offense. What were the advertisers thinking?

· 2

ltrigger47 2 weeks ago

What is up with this **** since when is it cool to sexualize kids candy commercials and why is it cool for marriage to be a joke in this country what r they trying to subject the youth of our country to this kind of behavior SHAME.

 · 2

Judi Bohanon 1 week ago

I don't  think this is a good commercial for children to see. The candy is known to everyone, but this sets a bad example to children. Most of the commercials are good...just not this one!

 · 3

Blurred, to soften the nonsense a bit ...

Update:  While I was stewing on this issue and half-watching the news, a bunch of women in their underwear were suddenly dancing on my TV screen.  I was watching the news on CNN, for Pete's sake.  I changed the channel only to come in at the beginning of the same commercial again.  It was before 8:00 in the morning, the time when kids will be up and around the house.  Have things changed?